Stick Eagle
It was the 11th of september 2019 In United Stickland, there was a BasketBall player name Stick eagle.He was 20 years old,He like to invent cool stuff. Last year He just invented a Time Machine!
THIS IS
STICK EAGLE
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Ok, back to the story he was bored he wants to make a cool gadget but he don't have ideas.And then a stick man came in his house,it was his friend from nbA name Stick jack.Stick eagle was listening music.Oh by the way stick eagle likes listening music! "HEy we need to go!"he screamed,"where?" I ask."NBA of course"Jack answered."But it's 4 o'clock in the morning!" I growled."We need to train because we're virsing the hardest team ever in NBA!","oh wow,let's go then." i said,i went to the closet to dress up.5 minutes later we hopped in the car and drive to the gym to practice.I saw my coach and my teammates they we're waiting for us for the whole time!.After 5 hours of training (YES! 5 HOURS! No breaks!)I
was exhausted So I went Home I take a rest then suddenly My phone rang!"Hello??" I choked out "Eagle Wanna make a machine?",Suddenly I recognize that voice it was my friend stick rick he's a scientist"Sure..",I'll be there in 25 minutes.I hopped in my car again,Drive to the my laboratory.I opened the door,I saw Stick Rick "there you are!","want to do a challenge?","sure!"I said"ok the challenge is to make the coolest machine ever!"."3,2,1,GO!",We run to our rooms getting all the supplies we need to make our machine.He said that he's gonna make A clone Machine.Im gonna do a Magic Machine it can do everything you want (YEs EVERYTHING!).I grabbed my Tools, 4 Hours later I was tired it was 3:45 P.M Me and Rick went home.I jumped in my bed and take a rest.
zZ z z zZ Z zz zZ
In the Morning I walked in the kitchen and grabbed cereal and milk.after eating cereal I went to laboratory making my Magic Machine "I'm gonna win this challenge!" I said,But I heard a hammer noise it was Rick he was making his clone machine.I was late But I can still make so I grabbed My toolbox, I was almost done.But rick Was done making his clone machine he was just testing it if is broken or not.2 hours later I was done making my machine and testing it was PERFECT!.I called my friend Stick Nick he's a youtuber
He was Choosing who won and He choose my machine!
Here's the machine I made
This was the end of my story.
Hi Nathan,I like how you stayed on your subject and didn't go overboard and switch to a whole new story.I liked how you added a good amount of comedy in your story.E.g,:"After 5 hours of training!"boy that's a heck of a lot of time!(I also was laughing in my head that they had to train for that long!).What you could do next time,is to probably stay in the correct words in the correct sentence.E.g instead of "Drive to the lab,you could put,"Drove to the lab.
ReplyDeleteHey Nathan, I like how you used descriptive words and didn't make the story too long.
ReplyDeleteThanks Lucy from Yaldhurst Model School (YMS).
Hi I am Gracie from yaldhurst model school. I really like you story you use descriptive words. The story was awesome I love the story but I think you made the story a bit too long but a part from that I think it is a really good story. From Gracie yaldhurst model school.
ReplyDelete